I used to observe people who were working from home and/or running their own full-time businesses and think, “It must be nice to do what they do. It doesn’t look hard or annoying, they get to work from home, they must have such an easy life…”
Umm…not so much, 2012 me…
It was easy to think that way, on the outside looking in. And I still catch myself when someone I’ve followed for a long time shows a bit more beyond the surface…
Everyone’s reality is faaaar from what we see on social media.
As an artist, working at home and spending every day with my kids, I honestly don’t know what my life looks like. I try to share an honest glimpse at my days - the good and the bad. There’s always a balance of “being real”, and wanting to market myself and my work as inspiring and beautiful.
But there’s laundry on the floor, toys strewn about, and plenty of coffee mugs and empty seltzer cans on my desk and bedside table. I will never pretend that my home is some minimalist, tidy image. It’s “well lived in”. It’s where I spend every single day, working and parenting and hanging out with my main squeeze of 19 years.
As I said in my Creativity Pep Talk last week, everyone has different journeys, different spaces, different families and relationships and work styles. We cannot compare what we see on the surface of someone else’s life, to the ins and outs of our own journey, experiences, and circumstances.
No one’s life is easy and glamorous. I think the more we share some of the struggle, the better off we all are in learning to be more empathetic and kind humans. When Chrissy Teigan and Meghan Markle shared so openly about their pregnancy losses this year, I felt deeply connected to their experiences, having been through similar. I saw so many comments about how they were oversharing, but because they shared, we better understand and remember that at the core, being royalty or living “the dream life”, doesn’t keep you from experiencing real pain and grief.
We all have good days and bad days. We all have days we work our asses off, and days we need to slow down. Whether you’re making millions of dollars or growing a side hustle to put food on the table, no one ever sees the full picture. We can only have grace with ourselves and try to have more understanding and compassion, less judgement and comparison.
It’s all in how you frame your perspective.
the glimpse of my day that you see is not the whole picture.
Yesterday, I shared three new paintings I had created. They are smaller, 4x6 acrylics on canvas, which took me about 3 hours to make.
I started wondering if people saw my post and thought “Wow, it must be nice to only spend 3 hours a day working.” I worry every day that the fact that I work at home somehow translates to “She only works 3 hours a day. It must be so easy and fun.”
It is and it isn’t. We all work. Many of us who work for ourselves find our days following a less traditional schedule, but it doesn’t change the fact that work is work. We’re constantly moving the needle forward in different ways. I am working towards every single sale to put food on our table and keep a roof over our heads.
My three small paintings took 3 hours to create, but in that time, I had to pause to sit down over Google Meet for a parent teacher conference. I had to pause to help Lily check her math practice sheets and help her work through some problems. I was thinking about all the art I need to add to my website so I can start meeting higher sales goals each month.
I squeezed in picking up the canvas from another artist in town after picking up Lily from school. I have been watching videos and taking classes for my art, learning new techniques, practicing different styles, messing up a lot and working through creative blocks.
I’m working around naps and remote learning, snacks and bathroom breaks. I’m weighing the pros and cons of my kids begging for an outdoor playdate with a friend after spending so much time inside at home this winter, while I watch the sunlight quickly changing and fading each afternoon, my opportunities to paint in my optimal lighting and creative energy feeling the pressure of time slipping away.
As an artist, I am joyfully creating, and I am working to support my family.
A lot of the stuff I do behind the scenes doesn’t make it to social media, because it’s “boring”. It’s what I call the “Work-Work”. This includes making podcast episodes (writing, recording, editing, publishing), Youtube videos (recording, editing, writing and publishing), planning and posting and engaging on social media, managing my finances, client inquiries and relationships, marketing, shipping art…I never work “just 3 hours a day”.
For the one picture I share with the world, there’s a lot more happening around it throughout the day.
What does my day typically look like?
A few weeks ago, I started using time blocking as a way to simplify and focus on what really needs to get done each day for my business, my family, and for me.
I used to try to plan every day down to the minute, thinking it would make me more productive. It was actually just really overwhelming and I would get distracted, lose focus, and nothing would get done.
I created a time blocking printable - give it a try!
Every day is different, so time blocking gives me the flexibility I need to hyper focus on my priorities, which include my work and parenting. Roo is home with me every day (we plan to start him in pre-K in the fall), and Lily is still doing remote days on Wednesdays, so I divide my days into 4 main blocks.
Morning 1 - 6:30-9:30am
We are waking up, getting showered and dressed, having breakfast, getting ready for school, dropping off at school, and getting settled into the day. We all know what we need to do in the morning, so I don’t plan it down to the minute. We are all home and getting ready in the morning and have established a pretty fluid routine.
Morning 2 - 9:30-11:30am
Sean leaves for work, and I’m settling into my workday. I sit down and do a 5-minute brain dump to clear my head and reflect on how I feel, and what I want and need to get done in the day ahead. From my brain dump, I prioritize my top three needs, and I do those things first. These things may be:
responding to clients and inquiries
writing a blog post or creating graphics for my website and social media
writing, recording, editing and publishing a podcast episode
adding new art and listings to my shop, and sharing them out to Pinterest, social media and my email list
filming, editing, and posting new videos to my creative living channel on Youtube
working on tracking sales and finances
writing my weekly email newsletters
I try to focus on one general area of my work that I can complete in that time. Roo plays independently, watches some PBS Kids. There are days I forgo working in the morning so we can go for a walk, play, or do learning activities together. I am massively grateful for this flexibility in my life since this is a temporary time we get to spend together.
Midday Break - 11:30am-1pm
This break is for lunch, and doing some personal things around the house. Working from home is a constant mental battle of knowing that there’s laundry, dishes, appointments to make, grocery orders and meal planning…This midday break allows me to eat, breathe, stretch, and do those things that take up mental space. Knowing I have this time set aside allows me to better focus on work and other priorities throughout the day.
Afternoon 1 - 1pm-3pm
This is my golden time block for creativity. I spend this time painting, drawing coloring pages, or finishing up podcast or Youtube episodes. I try to do more of the podcast and Youtube work at the beginning of the week, so by Wednesday, I can spend my afternoons drawing and painting when more people are home from work and school.
Thankfully, at this time, Roo still naps most days during this block of time. Play hard, nap hard.
Afternoon 2 - 3pm-6pm
I wake Roo from his nap and we hustle out to the car to go pick up Lily from school. Once she’s in the car, we run any errands (like grocery pickups and Buy Nothing exchanges), and head home. On nice days, we might stop at a playground for some fresh air and playtime. Again, I’m grateful for the flexibility to make these decisions based on what’s on my plate and what my kids need. While they’re running around outside, I might listen to a podcast or pop into Clubhouse, make an Instagram post, and spend some time engaging on social media to stay active and relevent.
This block of time is the most flexible depending on the day, the weather, if Lily has ballet class, and if it’s a day we’re all home (my husband is home Wednesdays and Fridays). Generally, the kids are playing and have “free” time, while I’m wrapping up tasks that might take another hour or so. We’re cleaning up the house, doing any extra practice homework or reading, changing laundry, and getting ready for dinner.
Evening 6pm-10pm
The kids shower and put on pjs while I’m making dinner. We sit down together to eat, sometimes in front of the tv, depending on what’s for dinner and how many of us are home (Friday nights are always homemade pizza and family movie night). While I’m making dinner, I like to watch painting or business videos on Youtube on my iPad. The kids watch a little tv or play some video games if they get their jammies on quickly enough. Our family style is pretty laid back and it works well for us. I don’t fret over small stuff. It’s how I keep my sanity and enjoy motherhood.
After dinner, we head upstairs for bedtime. Some nights bedtime takes an hour. I am always incredibly tired by this point in the evening, but I enjoy reading to the kids, talking about their day, answering their “what is the meaning of life” questions and giving them some snuggles. I sing them a few bedtime songs, and it’s lights out.
I finish up cleaning up, dishes and laundry (which usually stays in a pile on the chair or in a basket in our room), Sean gets home from work around 9, and we chat and watch tv or play some video games, and go to bed. I usually watch a show or two before going to sleep (currently rewatching Brooklyn 99). Most nights, I stay up later than I should. I keep saying I’ll start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier to give myself more time for myself, but I haven’t made that change of habit yet.
That’s a pretty typical day in my life! Some days are more productive. Some days are crazy and stressful as a mom. Some days are pretty chill and enjoyable.
It’s definitely a balance, and while I know that what I share to social media is a small slice of my work and my day, I know there are many fellow artists, small business owners and entrepreneur friends going through similar days, finding ways to get stuff done around kids, and constantly changing plans and needs.
If you’re ever scrolling and find yourself thinking “Wow, their life must be so fun and easy.” - just take a moment and remember that there’s more than meets the eye.
We’re all trying to remember to eat and drink water.
Some of us have strict routines that never change. Some of us are constantly tweaking and working around changing household schedules.
Some of us have more appointment heavy days, some of us have more flexibility (which can be difficult to stay on task).
Some people have a lot of support of family, friends, neighbors. Some can afford assistants and house cleaners. Some are making it work solo.
Every person’s day to day experience varies in work, home life, parenting, relationships, spirituality, physical and mental wellness, and a million other things…
We’re doing our best to do more of what we love, while enjoying time with our loved ones. We do what we can to slow down, prioritize what means most to us, and maybe share a sliver of that with the world. Most of us artists, small businesses and entrepreneurs know and value the satisfaction and joy of doing work that we’re passionate about, to balance out our unique struggles.
No one’s perfect. The fantasy that we perceive is just that - a fantasy. There’s actually blood, sweat, tears, tantrums, timeouts, dirty laundry, burnt dinner, spilled milk, and a whole lot of grace going on behind the scenes of that Instagram feed.
My dad used to sell bumper stickers at his fishing store that said “A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at the office.” And it’s the dang truth.
Do more of what you love, prioritize yourself and your people, and no matter what the reality of your day looks like, life is, indeed, good.
Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based artist with a passion for abstract, expressive painting, and encouraging fellow creatives to do more of what they love! Subscribe to her podcast, Youtube, and weekly emails for a hearty dose of creative inspiration and encouragement each week.